It's been a month, and I've been busy every day.
Although it's just as uncomfortable as I expected, it's also just as helpless as I anticipated.
I don't mean to shirk responsibility, and I'm willing to accept it. It's just that deep down, I still feel it's unfair.
It's influenced by the words of those around me, the neglect from loved ones... and also, from my own heart.
I still miss the place that once made me want to escape. I still miss the people who were by my side.
Just now, I lay in the snow and cried uncontrollably; yes, I've long lost my image.
Image is merely a synonym for the vanity I give myself, nothing can cover the heart.
I have no image.
Crying was a genuine feeling of being unable to bear it.
I lay in the snow, crying and shouting, I resembled a mental patient.
An elderly lady said, "What's wrong with this girl? No matter how I pull, she won't get up."
I just said I was unhappy, I was unhappy, I was unhappy.
I am unhappy.
It's snowing, and I'm still busy working. I know I should go make medicine for my mom, so I'm even more anxious.
Dad came out and called me; I hoped he would say, "It's snowing, stop working, it's cold..."
But he said, "It's time to make the medicine."
Although I've felt this way many times before, I also understand I shouldn't dwell on it.
But I still feel wronged and want to cry.
Many times, my grievances and feelings of imbalance press heavily on my heart.
Just a word, I can't persuade myself.
But ultimately, I can't convince myself.
I won't do anything; I just hope that before all this ends, I can still be my intact self.
I hope I can hold on until the day when everything will pass.
I fantasize about a day when I will return to that familiar place, calculating in my heart. The more I think about it, the happier I become.
I smile proudly.
Suddenly, I think about everything in front of me, and it feels impossible.
All kinds of despair make me want to distance myself from everyone who loves me.
Those to whom I cannot make promises, those who are hoping for my return.
Ultimately, it's just impossible; it’s better to directly tell them, "I'm sorry."
It's snowing, and the weather is getting colder; in fact, I don't want to say goodbye.