我是老王

Goodbye to July, goodbye to that midsummer time, as time slowly slips away, just like youth, gradually fading.
I began to involuntarily miss someone, miss my good friends, miss that special someone in my heart, wondering what he is doing now. I can no longer control my longing; when doing something, the person I always think of is him.
In August, I started my journey. That day, it was pouring rain. I held my little umbrella, strolling in the heavy rain. The sound of rain hitting the umbrella was crisp and clear, like an enchanting melody. I also began to lose myself in it, with raindrops splashing against my heels; I no longer cared, letting the rain splash freely.
Waiting for the bus at the station, the rain continued to fall incessantly, and my clothes were soaked through. Finally, the bus arrived, and I got on with a heart full of joy. It was really crowded on the bus, but fortunately, I found an empty seat and sat down. Looking out at the rain, I thought of many things. I was thinking, if the person sitting next to me were him, it would be great; I could lean on his shoulder and take a nap for a while. I really wished for that at that moment.
The bus arrived at the station, and the rain stopped. Carrying my heavy bag, I returned home. The feeling of home was really warm, making me no longer feel lonely. I carried my heavy bag into my room. Everything in the room hadn’t changed at all; it was just like usual, in the same place, and the whole feeling was very clean, indicating that my mom had come in to help clean. Perhaps due to exhaustion, I lay on the bed and fell asleep.
I don’t know how long I slept before waking up. When I woke up, I called my friends to check on them and hoped they could be happy. Sitting alone in the room for a long time, the afternoon sunlight shone on the curtains, warm and cozy. I tried to catch that warm sunlight with one hand. However, no matter how I tried to grasp it, I could never catch it, leaving only the tiny dust in my palm.
I walked barefoot, holding a cup of warm boiled water, pacing around the room. I really wanted to stay in that moment; I wished my memories could be as pure and blank as the cup of boiled water in my hand. I liked this feeling, faint and subtle.
I once thought about traveling to Provence with the person I liked, always yearning for that place. I once imagined that one day, we would hold our wedding there, live there, and spend our lives together. I once thought that at the moment I turned around, he would be standing behind me, always protecting me. All kinds of thoughts surged at that moment, unstoppable.
Sometimes I think, no matter where we go, those memories will always follow us, making it impossible to forget. And for certain memories, forgetting is better than remembering. Just like some happiness, it always comes to us when we least expect it.
In the summer of August, the sunlight was still so bright, but it wasn’t as glaring as the sunlight in July. Occasionally, there would be a little rain. I, who never liked rain, have now fallen in love with it, with the longing that rain brings. I enjoy sitting by the window, listening to the sound of the rain falling, quietly recalling certain memories, allowing myself to quickly enter that peaceful state. Perhaps that’s why I like the rain.